Find
by farfetched4
Summary: A simple question leads to confusing results for Ash - and more questions. Cilan/Ash, CafeMochashipping.


Barely a breeze rustled the leaves surrounding the small clearing they'd found in the midst of the forest, several metres from the main path, and so the heat, while not unbearable, was noticeably more stifling than usual. Axew had left the shelter of his owner's hair to run around: Pansage watched Pikachu chase the small dragon while making the most of the sunshine that beamed down on him. Iris perched in the branches of a tree, while Ash and Cilan were leant against trunks of different trees, with the latter idly preparing a salad, as they'd mutually decided that any hot food would be unbearable.

Ash wrinkled his nose slightly - having jumped in the stream prior to lunch to cool down, he was now beginning to dry off, the warm air evaporating the water from his skin, hair and clothes, so he could now start to feel the heat surrounding him. At least he was cooler than the other two, as he noticed Iris' eyes closed with a leaf in hand, desperately trying to create some kind of breeze on her face, and Cilan had shucked the bowtie and jacket into a neat pile next to him, and had also undone the top button of his shirt. Despite how he was reaching the state he'd been in an hour or so earlier, there was a small satisfaction in being 'childish' enough to reap the benefits of getting wet. Iris had laughed at him, but stopped once the pokémon had followed him, which was why they were happy to run around now.

He leant his head back, closing his eyes to enjoy feeling cool. While he enjoyed travelling, it was nice to relax occasionally too - that, and he was starving, waiting for Cilan to finish lunch.

"Pansage? Lend me some leaves?" The grass monkey flicked its ears and peered at Cilan, before nodding and hopping over to offer its Trainer the bush on top of its head.

"Aren't they really bitter?" Ash murmured, drowsy, though he watched the connoisseur through half-lidded eyes. He could have sworn that Cilan was avoiding eye contact, but shrugged, putting it down to his imagination.

"They don't taste of anything, I thought." The Gym Leader plucked a handful of small leaves from his pokémon's head and, once he'd placed them in the salad, patting the monkey. Pansage went back to watching the other two, who were slowing down in their games, obviously tired.

"Done!" Ash perked up immediately, swiftly scampering over to retrieve a bowl for Cilan, along with a fork and a large serving of salad. It was too bad it wasn't something hearty like a stew, but they shouldn't be too far from the next town, and therefore pokémon centre. They could buy dinner there if necessary. Returning to his place, he missed Iris roll her eyes at his antics before collecting some food for herself, while Cilan distributed some between the pokémon.

Ash grinned - though he didn't tend to eat salads, the mix of berries and leaves was particularly tasty, and out of nowhere Cilan had pulled an interesting topping that made it even tastier.

"Thish ish real' good!" he exclaimed between mouthfuls, and although Cilan smiled, he didn't look at Ash. The younger trainer felt his mood drop slightly, though he couldn't have said why. At least the drowsiness he'd had before had disappeared - and true to Cilan's claim, he could barely taste the leaves between the tasty berries and topping, and yet felt their effect.

"Yeah, Cilan: it's the best salad I've had!" Iris complimented, although she waited until she had nothing in her mouth, but Ash didn't watch her, having quickly finished his food. He was trying to sneak peeks at Cilan, and- there! When Iris had commented, the connoisseur had actually looked at her.

He'd only vaguely noticed it recently (yesterday) but now he thought about it, Cilan hadn't looked at him properly in ages. He didn't notice much (at least, various people had told him such) but this was irking him, though he did try not to let it show.

So he would tackle it Ash-style - head-on.

"Cilan? Why won't you look at me anymore?" The green-haired trainer froze at his question, paused in the motion of tidying away his dishes.

"Why, is it a bother?" Ash frowned. Again, no eye-contact. He stood up.

"Well, I dunno, we're friends, aren't we?" He stepped forward at the lack of response. "So you can tell me, right?"  
Cilan put down the stuff he'd been holding, sighed, and finally turned to look at him.

It wasn't that Cilan himself had changed any - same face, same personality, same everything - but his eyes seemed... different, somehow. Like they were burning into his soul, but in a good way, Ash couldn't describe it or understand.

Iris, noticing the change in mood, laughed hollowly in an attempt to break the tension, but failed.  
"I'm gonna go get some water. Come on guys!" She motioned at the pokémon to follow her, completely unnoticed by Ash or Cilan, gazes still locked.

It was almost like the world froze, and they were the only two living things in the entire forest. Ash stepped back, admittedly a little intimidated, even though the look in the connoisseur's eyes had shifted from searing to fond. He didn't even know, but nobody had ever looked at him like this before, and he couldn't quite tell if he was excited, scared or nervous, or just a mixture of them all.

His back hit the tree, breaking the moment he'd been in. Looking about himself, he noticed how empty and quiet the place was.  
"Hey, where did Iris go?" He peered back at Cilan, and wondered why exactly he felt nervous. "C-Cilan? What's up?"  
The connoisseur had stopped about half a metre in front of him, and Ash was aware of his heart pounding. Taking Cilan's previous role and avoiding his eyes, and noticing how his question hadn't been answered, he smiled weakly.

"I wonder where all the pokémon are, 'cause it's strange they're not here right now, as in, it's, like, midday, and-"  
"Ash." His gaze flickered back to Cilan, and he was caught up in it again. He didn't notice things like this (or so he was told), but there was something weird going on. Perhaps the Gym Leader had eaten something strange while he wasn't looking, or...

Cilan lifted a hand and placed it... tenderly, almost, on his neck, and Ash was unable to stop himself gasping. What was going on? Why did he _want_it? Why was he anticipating whatever was going to happen?

"What would you do if I said I liked you?" Cilan almost breathed the sentence, and quiet and hushed as it was, and Ash looked off to the side, laughing nervously. If that's all it was, it would be fine.

"T-that's good, I was wondering if you didn't want to be friends anymore, so I'm glad you don't hate me!" Ash mumbled swiftly, bringing his hands together in front of him, pressing them flat against his ribs and leaning further against the tree. It felt somehow like Cilan was still advancing on him, and his heart was still pumping furiously. He didn't understand. He'd never felt like this towards any of his other friends, so what made it different with Cilan? And why wasn't the connoisseur backing off now he'd apparently revealed his problem? Unless... He hadn't. There was certainly no need for Cilan to worry about Ash hating him, because there was no chance of that - unless of course he transferred to Team Rocket and starting trying to steal Pokémon, then he'd have no choice, but that was a completely different matter.

A hand placed on the tree trunk beside his head broke him out of his stupor, and, slightly dismayed (yet not somehow) he found his suspicions proved right. Cilan hovered barely a hand's width away from him, tender expression on his face. The Gym Leader hummed in a way that bristled a little, as if he'd _known_what Ash had been going to say. He was close enough for Ash to feel his breath on his face as he spoke.

"And if I said I loved you?"  
Ash had opened his mouth, ready to reply - but he'd expected anything else but that. Cilan smirked, and Ash's eyes widened further as the realisation went through his head.

_We're going to kiss._

And, with about half a second's warning, Cilan did just that.  
It was like being shocked by Pikachu, except he was nowhere in sight, and yet it was completely different. The sensation of warm lips on his, entirely unexpected and almost unanticipated, sent his brain into a meltdown and his senses into overdrive. He could feel Cilan's hand on his cheek, their foreheads and noses touching and his eyes had closed automatically when it hurt to focus on the connoisseur. Their chests had at some point pressed together, his hands having fallen by the wayside - he had no idea where to put them now, so they hovered either side of Cilan - and Ash could have sworn Cilan had placed a leg almost between his. He didn't know what to do or think - he'd seen some people do this before, and married couples, sure, but never... He'd never really looked in detail. It hadn't interested him at the time, but now it was happening, and in all his sixteen years it hadn't crossed his mind to kiss anyone, or even _how_. He was completely flummoxed. He felt he ought to do something though, so settled for placing his hands gingerly on Cilan's arms.

And then it was over. Cilan pulled away slightly, breathing heavily, and in the shock, it took Ash a moment to realise how much he required air as well.

Yet, Cilan was still close to him, closer than he'd been anyone, ever.  
Ash panicked, flinging his arms up, eyes widening once more.  
"I-I-I- You- I don't know- what?"  
Cilan smiled widely.  
"You're so cute!" Had Ash not already been completely red, he would have blushed further.  
"S-Shut up! W-what was that for?" Ash stuttered, flinching as Cilan removed his hand from Ash's cheek to ruffle damp black hair.

"Well, you looked very flustered, and-"  
"Not that!" Ash whispered urgently, and Cilan smiled, tilting his head slightly.  
"You wanted an answer to your question, didn't you?" He racked his frazzled brain for what he'd originally asked, and eventually came up with it.

"How was that an answer?" Cilan looked mildly worried, flicking his eyes across the clearing to presumably check that Iris was not there. Still empty, he returned his gaze to Ash.  
"I couldn't look at you as I was afraid I might do just that. And now I've done it. Strangely though, I'm not satisfied..." The Kantonian trainer immediately dismissed the latter part, unable to think of everything at once.

"But... I don't get it." An idle part of brain remarked that it could get used to this proximity to Cilan. The connoisseur smirked, finally relenting and stepping back slightly.

"I couldn't explain it to you, because I don't fully understand either. But, I will say this: I don't yet think you're ready." Ash narrowed his eyes, building yet another layer of confusion onto a revelation that was as of yet out of grasp. Ready? What was that supposed to mean? "However, I'll wait as long as you need. Whatever your response is, you know where I'll be!"  
Cilan went back to packing up their lunch, and Ash stared at the ground, feeling the beginning of a headache form. This would take forever to work out, he felt. Maybe the conclusion would be easy, but it felt like he'd entered a maze.

"Hey, guys! I found an Oran bush!" Ash started over towards Iris' voice, setting aside his thoughts for a moment. He'd have down-time when they started walking again. Iris emerged from the undergrowth waving a short stem of deep blue berries, with Axew and Pikachu poking out of her hair each grasping one berry each, while Pansage trotted along beside them with an armful. "They're really rare here! You two should come look." Ash grinned hopefully at her, about to follow her suggestion, when she looked suspiciously between the two of them. "Did you two sort out your disagreement..?"

Ash simply spluttered slightly, going red, while Cilan stepped in.  
"We did, thank you Iris. Sorry for worrying you!" She nodded, not entirely convinced.  
"Um, yeah, definitely, now I wanna see that bush!" Pikachu, noticing Ash was within jumping distance, leapt onto his shoulder, proudly showing off his berry. Iris, thankfully, didn't comment, and after putting down the branch she'd been carrying, turned on her heel to show him the way. Ash breathed a small sigh of relief at the change of topic.

Although he did sense he might be the one avoiding glances for a while.

* * *

I hope they're not _too_ out of character. My last attempt at writing Ash didn't go quite so well, but hopefully this was a little better?

Ash/Cilan - or, Cilan/Ash, really... - is adorable. I discovered it on the pokanon kink meme and it was so cute I had to contribute. There isn't that much of it, really.


End file.
